One repose, just for a little while.

I don't know. I just don't know. Maybe things are getting more ominous because there's a vacation ahead... maybe I'm allowing myself to sink into such a negative state. Maybe I'm just too quick to let things get me down.

Or maybe it's this violent darkness overtaking as winter looms closer. I always sensed I was linked to the change of weather; I think it's only become more acute through the years. 

This Saturday was a blast from my past. I bumped into someone that was once a bigger part of my life for a few months...last year. Man, last year was a blur...back then, even now. I checked our history of wall conversations, feeling a little off-put by how our sentiments had changed. Where once was familiarity and casual talk was now politeness and a slight forcing of comfort. I see now that we really weren't meant to be, but that we were meant to be for that time. He was in my life for many reasons, even if it didn't work out or follow through. For a second, I thought that maybe I hadn't been standing still at all. If I look back a year from today, worlds have changed. Even though I feel the same, and have scarcely traveled as avidly as I did back then. Still, surely we can move while we remain physically unmoved. It's an amazing thing - time. It's a wonder that it will always defeat us; we are always merciless to how it shapes and makes us what we are.